and hanging out with people in recovery:
They get it so much more than those who never learned why it's bad to "fat talk." They know that it's not OK to say certain things simply because they're only referring to themselves, anyway. I won't censor anyone, but I might go ballistic. Wouldn't be the first time I alienated someone and scared myself in the process.
I asked my IP doc how to diplomatically deal with the triggering comments. He said I have to learn to get angry. I thought I'd already done that.
My recovery is not strong, and reluctant or half-assed recovery is not recovery, but that doesn't mean it feels good to be enabled (even when I enable myself), that you can ask me for tips (even though I, myself, may seek them out online), that you can expect me to not get indignant when you imply that certain foods are immoral by virtue of calling others "guilt-free" (even though I buy the "guilt-free" versions if I buy the items at all).
People in recovery have done every fatphobic thing a non-ED person has, and to some degree likely still do them -- attaching value to weights and other numbers, dieting out of fear, talking to themselves like they wouldn't dare address even an enemy on the other side of the world from behind a computer screen encased in plexiglass -- but they've done the work, are doing the work, and have come further than most could ever hope to in a life less examined.
They get it so much more than those who never learned why it's bad to "fat talk." They know that it's not OK to say certain things simply because they're only referring to themselves, anyway. I won't censor anyone, but I might go ballistic. Wouldn't be the first time I alienated someone and scared myself in the process.
I asked my IP doc how to diplomatically deal with the triggering comments. He said I have to learn to get angry. I thought I'd already done that.
My recovery is not strong, and reluctant or half-assed recovery is not recovery, but that doesn't mean it feels good to be enabled (even when I enable myself), that you can ask me for tips (even though I, myself, may seek them out online), that you can expect me to not get indignant when you imply that certain foods are immoral by virtue of calling others "guilt-free" (even though I buy the "guilt-free" versions if I buy the items at all).
People in recovery have done every fatphobic thing a non-ED person has, and to some degree likely still do them -- attaching value to weights and other numbers, dieting out of fear, talking to themselves like they wouldn't dare address even an enemy on the other side of the world from behind a computer screen encased in plexiglass -- but they've done the work, are doing the work, and have come further than most could ever hope to in a life less examined.
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